Half Kraft Crunchy, half Kraft Smooth

There are quizzes that make the rounds on the Internets, asking Moms, "how crunchy are you?". No, this is not asking how you would taste to a dragon. The more "crunchy" you are, the more hippy-ish you are, in regards to your beliefs and practices - i.e., crunchy = granola-eating = hippies eat granola = you're a hippy. Or something along those lines.

If crunchiness was somehow related to peanut butter, I think I'd be a piece of toast that had half Kraft Crunchy, half Kraft Smooth peanut butter. (I'm not crazy about granola, so just go with me on this one...)

For the Crunchy side of toast:

• We practice co-sleeping, and more specifically bed sharing. While pregnant I did lots of research on the subject, and I knew we would probably end up in some co-sleeping arrangement (Note: co-sleeping usually means having your child sleep in the same room with you). We started Bean out in the bassinet. She learned very quickly that sleeping with Mommy and Daddy would be much more comfy! Then we switched to co-sleeper insert for the bed, but it was too bulky. Finally, we've settled on side-car'ing, wherein the crib is attached to the bed. I know, I know, you've seen those advertisements with the baby basically hugging a knife in Mom's comfy bed, but... there are mucho problems with the accuracy of this. While there aren't tons of studies done on the plus-side to co-sleeping, there are some (increased arousability for infant which reduces SIDS, etc.) - but the same can be said for studies indicating the downside. Statistics unfortunately do not break down the deaths that occur "due to co-sleeping", such as what the co-sleeping situation was? Was a sidecar crib involved? Was baby sleeping next to Mom, or next to Dad? Was parental narcotic use involved? How high was the bed? Were their guard rails up? How soft was the bed? Were there many blankets and pillows around baby?. Ultimately, we are happy as this works for us.
• We breastfeed, and will do extended and exclusive breastfeeding (EBF) for some time, as we follow Bean's lead. I'm not even going to talk on here about how much I love breastfeeding and for so, so many different reasons (because I will make a whole post about it one day!), but yeah... LOVE for breastfeeding. This also means no other baby foods for at least the first six months, no formula, etc. I do not have specific goals such as breastfeeding for one year, two years, etc. I am going to just follow Bean's lead and go from there.
• We cloth diaper. Or at least, we are starting to. This boils down to two reasons: 1. it's cost-effective (saving an average of $2000 per child over course of the 'diaper years'), and 2. it's more environmentally friendly. Since Bean was in utero, I began giving a lot more thought to environmental sustainability, and what kind of world we will be leaving for her. Global warming is real with real human causes, and even if my cloth diapering will only have a teensy tiny effect, it's worth it to say to my daughter and kids one day that we tried to do what we could.
• We don't circumcise. This is something that is very important to me. And yes--- I know Bean is a girl. Just like we wouldn't cut off healthy genitalia from a baby boy for no reason other than cosmetic, we will not do this for our baby girls, either. Same goes for ear piercings- not as big of a deal, for sure... but to us, it is a procedure that inflicts pain (even momentary) for no other purpose than ascribing certain culturally defined gender roles onto an infant that cannot consent, and on an infant that we do not know if she chooses to identify with this type of gender expression. When Bean is old enough to take care of them herself and when we feel she can critically decide for herself whether she wants this done, we will deal with it then.
• We do the midwife route with doulas. I'll be making another post talking about this awesomeness in more specific detail, but just know we are all for the benefits they can provide over here.
• We babywear. Because it's developmentally healthy for Bean, and because it's so helpful for getting things done during the day!

Now for the Kraft smooth:

• We eat animals. This is probably the biggest one. I enjoy eating meat. It's not purely because of tastiness, but also because I am a lifelong picky eater (like--- the pickiest), and without meat, my diet would be even farther from balanced than it already is. That said, I do often feel conflicted about it and have some very interesting inner soliloquies in my head. Funny enough, this almost never happens when talking to vegans or vegetarians, but usually when I'm watching something like the Simpsons. I ultimately decide that humans are meant to eat meat as our ancestors did (and don't tell me we don't "need" to anymore... I know that. I also know we don't "need" to enjoy the outdoors, to engage in human reproduction, or a whole host of other things, but we still do...). I also decide that when and if I ever make more money, I will put aside more money for our grocery budget in order to buy more free-range organic products. Because no one can deny what happens at Big Business Bovine University is horrifying.
• We vaccinate. Probably the second biggest to break the crunchy streak, and also something I feel a little conflicted about. I don't feel conflicted because of the science - I DO think that the science is on the side of vaccinating, and that the speculated side effects like autism is just people grasping at straws when their kid gets such a diagnosis, in order to make sense of their world. Understandable reaction? Absolutely. Reflected by science? Unfortunately, no. It would be nice if that was the answer, but so far it doesn't look like it. The only reason I feel conflicted about is that I HATE to see my daughter in any degree of pain, even if it's for a good reason. She cries, I cry, it's a cry-fest. I wish we didn't have to, and I don't feel great knowing that we don't even have all the answers about these vaccines, but ultimately we do it and feel generally good about it.
• We don't use "all-natural" and organic stuff. Because let's face it, if you did, you'd have: A. no money left for anything else, ever, because that shit is expensive, and B. you'd have smelly armpits and a smelly mouth (natural deodorants and natural toothpaste is made from like, tepid water or cow spit or something because it does absolutely nothing of what it's supposed to do).
• We're not super spiritual, or into homeopathy. I'll agree that there are tons of natural remedies that DO work, however, as a favourite comedian/songwriter Tim Minchin sings: "Alternative Medicine ... Has either not been proved to work, Or been proved not to work.
  You know what they call "alternative medicine" that's been proved to work? Medicine. Before we came to tea, I took a natural remedy derived from the bark of a willow tree. A painkiller, virtually side-effect free. It's got a weird name, Darling, what was it again? Ma-Ma-Masprin? Basprin? Oh yeah, Asprin! Which I paid about a buck for down at the local drugstore."   And regarding spirituality, I think this is brilliant: "Science adjusts it's beliefs based on what's observed. Faith is the denial of observation so that Belief can be preserved... Isn't this enough? Just this world? Just this beautiful, complex wonderfully unfathomable world? How does it so fail to hold our attention that we have to diminish it with the invention of cheap, man-made Myths and Monsters? And fine, if you wish to glorify Krishna and Vishnu in a post-colonial, condescending bottled-up and labeled kind of way that's ok. But here's what gives me a hard-on: I am a tiny, insignificant, ignorant lump of carbon. I have one life, and it is short
  And unimportant... But thanks to recent scientific advances I get to live twice as long as my great great great great uncles and auntses. Twice as long to live this life of mine, Twice as long to love this wife of mine..."

So, that about sums it up. Half Kraft Crunchy, Half Kraft Smooth. One kind of peanut butter would just be boring anyway.