Moments like these, when she sleeps so close to me in her little sidecar crib attached to the bed, and she just doesn't feel quite close enough and I put my finger in the palm of her hand and feel her grasp it tightly and hold onto it, breathe a deep relaxed breath, and tears spill from my eyes and I think to myself just how much I love her more than anything...
A couple of years ago, when I was married for one year, with my husband for six years already, my ovaries all of a sudden kicked into high gear. They kicked me daily. The biological clock ticked through their kicking and it was so hard to wait to obey its calling, and I knew that I was ready to love my child more than anything else in this world, more than my partner, or at least in a much deeper, different way.
This is what I was waiting for. Moments like these. It is so, so, so worth the wait.
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